Results

The final results are in and I got my period. I woke up this morning with the blood and felt a unique sense of freedom. I was free from the Limbo I was living in for the past 8 weeks. It felt like the beginning of a journey that would soon heal me. I shouldn't make it sound like it cured my inner grief... but I did feel a slight weight lifted from my shoulders.

I waited all day for the phone call. I went to the copier with the cell phone in my back pocket in fear I would miss the call in the split second I was away from my desk. At about 3 pm I was on the phone with a customer and my cell rang. The customer was in the middle of explaining something otherwise I would have excused my self and asked to call her back. Instead I froze and wanted so badly to slam the phone down and take my call. No such luck.

I listened to the voicemail which said results are in and that she would like to talk to me TOMORROW. Because she wants to give me her undevoted attention. I couldn't help but think that if I were in her place I would give special attention to someone in my situation and perhaps call in my free time. But maybe I'm not her only patient going through this? Maybe there are others? Maybe this happens more often? Maybe I'm not so special?

Ok this all doesn't really matter. The most important part of the message came later. "Shanna, I will go over the results with you tomorrow but I can tell you now - that this will never happen to you again".

My poor Hunter. He did nothing wrong and his mother did nothing to him. The beginning of his life was so promising... just like any other baby. He was healthy and so close, he had made it so far.