The Shrink

I can't go on and on complaining about how awful my life is right now and how hard it is to face every single situation. Each time someone asks me for baby pictures or how's the baby? Each time I see a newborn at the grocery store or brought into the office by a new proud parent. I can't help but think that right now, I should have a healthy baby boy. I can't help it when everything I do, I think what would I being doing if Hunter was here.

I can't do that to my friends and family. But I can't pretend it didn't happen either. I still need to deal with it. My future child deserves the right to have parents who are 100% commited to him/her instead of still trying to cope with the grief of losing a past child.

So I finally made the move. I think I've coped very well so far. I have a great support system, but they've done all they can do. Now I'll just pay a professional.

My due date was August 3rd. I thought about writing that day but honestly just couldn't bring myself to do it. Denial was my best coping method. It was another milestone that I had been dreading and now it's past and I'm not sure I feel any different... better or worse.